Alvin M. Keeling 
It was my birthday this week, and I’ve been busy everyday with daily replacement shows on SiriusXM’s classic country channel, Willie’s Roadhouse. For this reason, today we have an “extra presentation” which, as I have already explained, is just a more pretentious way of saying “replay”. To put the first section in context, I’ll explain that the original review was published right after a review I wrote about adaptations of millennial bluegrass songs (“Snapchat From My Darling”, “You Don’t Know My Password “, etc.):
The millennial bluegrass songs of the past week have generated many suggestions for additions. Many were good, and I’ll include a few here.
One reader pointed out what I already knew: My list is incomplete without a song title that references an avocado toast (the Millennial Egg McMuffin). Granted, I was stumped last week because “avocado toast” is just a clunky poetic phrase no matter how much healthy fat it may contain. Ultimately it struck me, as I turned to the realm of bluegrass gospel for inspiration:
“Singing all day and avocado toast on the floor”
Also, I forgot this one, courtesy of the Osborne Brothers:
“GIF this message to your heart”
And for good measure:
“Man born gluten-free”
Ashby Frank, who, as I explained last week, gave me the idea in the first place, brought in a few other gems:
“Carbon footprints in the snow”
“Drifting with the tidal pods”
Other readers added:
“Apple Watch and chain”
“Send SMS to Bâton Rouge”
“Love coated in stevia”
It’s December, however, and it’s time we turned our attention to adapting songs to Christmas carols. This is an area where the needs are great and immediate as well, as December is when bluegrass musicians are likely to be booked for a Christmas party or two. Who among us hasn’t said ‘yes’ to a gig, believing that you’ll be able to find enough material when the time comes? We need help.
There is simply a shortage of Christmas material, and it affects all genres of music. Therefore, if you listen to the song on repeat in any store you are in, you will hear a lot of borderline Christmas carols, probably recorded because the artist had run out of Christmas material or was fed up with the usual standards.
What has happened is a gradual relaxation of the definition of what a Christmas song is. Now pretty much any reference to snow, or even bad weather, for example Baby it’s cold outside is enough to make it track 1 of the new Christmas version. I always wondered how My favorite things became a Christmas song, but I guess that’s the only passing reference to snowflakes, or maybe mittens, unless there’s a hidden association of “schnitzel with noodles” with Christmas that I’m not aware of. But it’s a Christmas song now.
It all works in favor of the bluegrass musician trying to put together the Christmas set list. To the double-time version of O little town of Bethlehem we can now add the following:
Footprints in the snow
At the first snowfall
In the cold world
When the snow falls on my misty mountain house
Love has cooled down
Cold wind
Cold leaves of rain
Rain and snow
Toy heart (any toy reference also works)
We could still use a few more, especially for a three-set Christmas party. In the past I’ve suggested merging bluegrass songs with Christmas carols, that’s how I created “Frosty the Snowman of Constant Sorrow” and “It Came Upon a Midnight on the Stormy Deep”. But using the methods that gave us the millennial bluegrass songs, we can also easily convert some bluegrass hits into Christmas carols and make them Christmas as well as Christmas. My favorite things, if not, more :
“Small stable house on the hill”
(Over there stands) “Little Marie”
“How far from Bethlehem”
And of course the following:
“Always try to get to Bethlehem”
“Bring Marie Myrrhe”
“Give me the gifts while I live”
“It’s snowing here this morning”
“Little Jesus and the terrible Herod”
“I will always write your name in the snow”
“Prune the pines”
“I believed in you Santa Claus”
“Reindeer tractor”
“Hot Coal, Cold Coal” (for those on the villain list)
“A loaf of fruit cake”
“Columbus Stocking Blues”
“Sugar coated plums”
Then there are always the instrumentals, which avoids having to rewrite an entire song:
“Turkey under the snow”
“Ruben’s sleigh”
“Under the double mistletoe”
“Dixie Ho Ho Hoedown”
These latter are overkill, so I’d save them for your final set when you’re in desperate need of gear and the crowd has been in egg nog for a while:
“Ole Sleighfoot”
“Epiphany of the misty mountain”
“Santa Claus with orange blossom”
