Alvin M. Keeling 
CHEERS for the five remarkable women who joined us on Tuesday to discuss the childcare desert that is the state, county and [unfortunately] Corvallis. These five people knew more about what happens in child care than our editor – and in his youth he was a single father who ran a parenting magazine. I’m not gonna lie kids, it’s spooky if you’re looking for a place for little Johnny Jr. to learn and be safe while you work, but rather than stepping into it all here why not let you all listen to our experts. [If you’re not into watching video panels, you can read the highlights here]
FIST IN THE AIR for the Linn Benton NAACP. Last weekend, the LB-NAACP walked from Franklin Square Park at Corvallis Fred Meyer to demand that the chain store treat black shoppers and workers equally. The dozens who marched chanted “all dollars don’t matter until black dollars don’t matter” and “no justice, no peace, no profit” and their president LB-NAACP Jason J. Dorsette said Freddies had responsibility to perform a “hard reset”. The good news is that Dorsette received an email from the store asking to meet.
EEK for the Eugene man who was caught illegally importing/exporting scorpions [yes, you read that right, we said scorpions]. Darren Dennis Drake paid hundreds of dollars [BTW 100 Euros equals $110.33 American] illegally dispatch “predatory arachnids” from Drake’s former home to Talent in Germany after failing to obtain a license to do so legally. Drake put the creepy crawlies in a box marked “chocolates” and sent them on their merry way to the US Postal Service where US Customs and Border Protection people intercepted them. [Our issue here goes beyond the degradation of the word chocolate by labeling scorpions with it and thumps directly into the two words that nobody wants to hear put together– predatory arachnids!]
CHARMING SPOOKY CHEERS for Jay Hall. The most recent position with the Oregon Department of Justice was Hall prosecute people who illegally kill wild animals. Yes, he is the new Poaching Police Pro… the Dead Deer Defender… the Wandering Wolf Whisperer [okay, probably not that last one, but we ran out of alliterative ideas]. Anyway, in 2010, Oregon State Police uncovered a poaching ring responsible for killing over 300 deer and elk, and Hall sued them, so the state thought they would lure him out of Lane County and have him chase the poachers. from all over the state. [Here at The Advocate, we love critters of all kinds, and we’re very excited that the state is going all out to catch poachers. Best of luck, Mr. Hall!]
We bow our heads and say HMMMMM more than an article in Willamette Week. It seems they think a Republican has a good chance of winning the gubernatorial race in November. At a ‘prayer service’ held at a Salem Mall church that promoted anti-masking in defiance of Governor Brown, candidates hoping for that Grand-Old-Party nomination in May each got to speak to the people . This led the WW to publish the line, “This year is their best shot, perhaps in four decades, to win the state’s highest office. [We keep on tellin’ ya that it’s gonna get interestin’]
And now this…
CHEERS for Ammon Bundy. He is, truly, the gift that keeps on giving. And now could you ask? Well, Bundy’s latest hit is “These Boots Are Made For Walking Where I’m Not Meant To Be”. You see, this candidate to be the next governor of Idaho has been arrested. [again] for intrusion into the hospital room of a severely malnourished infant near Boise. Bundy and his “followers” were in the room to support the parents… who are accused of starving their 10-month-old child to death.
Unfortunately for those of us who were looking forward to his Prison Blues phase, Bundy had to leave the prison cell to attend his trial for [you guessed it] trespassing – even if it was to get into the Idaho capitol building… you know, that place where he wants to work. It was found guilty and put on probation.
[You’ll remember Bundy from such past oldies-but-goldies as “Let’s Steal Away at the Malheur Refuge” and “These Arms are for Fighting for My Grazing Rights.”]
