The ant can lift weights more than twenty times its own weight
Ants are geniuses. No wonder the Bible called for the lazy to consult them on how to become wise about saving for the future. Through my background in biochemistry, believe me, I realized that there are many fascinating facts about ants that most of us know very little about. And… These facts are very much related to life, especially marriage. I learned many lessons from the ant. Let me share a few with you.
two means one
The ant is a social insect. Ants do not live alone. In other words, they still live together as one colony/community. The lesson is simple. When you marry, you both become one people; a community. You not only have the same last name, but also the same spirit. You both have to learn to be okay at all times, it doesn’t matter.
There should be no competition between you. One helps the other to reach the top… and vice versa. Don’t be married alone. Don’t be a married bachelor or a spinster. You and your spouse should be one person with a common vision. Marriage means “we” and not “me”. Marriage means shifting the focus from “I” to “we”. Marriage means living together forever!
Division of labor…literally
In the ant colony, there is a division of labor. Each ant has a specific role it plays to keep the colony alive. Let me deflate your ego. As a man, just because you haven’t done anything at home doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do anything in your marital home.
A woman is not a maid! Even if it means washing the panties to help, no complaints! In this 21st century where women work as hard (if not harder) than men, submission doesn’t mean she does all the housework. Slavery is not synonymous with submission. Help her sweep. Help her wash herself. There’s nothing more romantic than peeling yams in the kitchen. Chai !
Safely save today for tomorrow
The ant keeps food in its stomach! Here is the lesson. In this rapidly changing world, it is very difficult to save and invest. As a married couple, however, know your needs and wants. Spend less on your wants… more on your needs.
Most importantly, save and if possible, invest. A healthy bank account will always make for a healthy marriage. Love tastes bitter without money, believe me. At all costs, reduce the excesses and save!
More and more sacrifice
The ant can lift weights more than twenty times its own weight. I bet you didn’t know that! Here is the lesson. Do you remember all the sacrifices you made for her while dating?
Do you remember everything you did for him before the wedding? Don’t let them disappear because you are now married. Don’t get too comfortable.
Keep getting her attention with these gifts. Pamper her. Keep him thinking of you all day with these sweet words. Every husband wants to enjoy the company of the woman he married as a girlfriend even decades after marriage…and vice versa.
Keep up the pace. Do not stop ! As a man, don’t settle for a round belly just after a year of marriage. As a woman, don’t retire to become a grandmother after childbirth. Be aware of fashion. Be fashionable. To keep fit. Be fashionable.
The husband is the servant of the wife and the wife is the servant of the husband
Literally, there is no particular leader in an ant colony although there is a queen. Get this. In marriage, each must be a servant; no master. Two rams cannot drink from the same bucket! Many spouses have locked horns because neither wants to serve. True leadership is when we lead by serving. If you want to lead, serve! The longevity of the marriage should be on each other’s hearts… not who is responsible for the marriage!
Get rid of it!
Queen ants lose their wings when they want to found a new colony. Do you really want the marriage to work? You have to get rid of some habits and your friends!
You can’t hang out with bitter divorcees if you want to keep your man. You can’t be in the company of cheaters while keeping your marital bed clean. Get rid of your friends!
Also get rid of some habits. You can’t be married and think/act like a teenager! Marriage is for mature men and women…not boys and girls who will vent their marital troubles in public at the slightest chance.
…This unique name…
Ants communicate only through chemicals called pheromones. You both should be best friends to get married. Have a unique way of communicating with your spouse. Have a special sweet name for him/her. Have fun in a unique way…even if it means having a particular mannerism, dance or song. Both of you must uniquely identify yourself.
Your future is linked to your spouse
When the queen ant dies, the whole colony dies with her. In other words, watch your spouse’s back. Do not condemn them in public even if they are wrong.
Protect them. When they go down, you obviously go down with them. Everything that happens to them apparently happens to you too.
Always come home
When looking for food, ants leave trails behind them to find their way home. This is the moral lesson. Home should always be your motivation for hard work. If your hard work takes you too far from home, it becomes hard work!
Always find your way home…soon. Have time for your family. After all, they are the reason for your sweating.
In marriage, there are no third parties!
Ants don’t have ears! And… that’s it. There are many things that can threaten to come between you two; friends, in-laws, hearsay, rumors, name them.
None should have their way. As long as the two of you have decided to live together forever, don’t listen to anyone. Don’t compare your marriage. Don’t let any third party come between you. Marriage is for two… not three!
Well… do you want to get married? Go to the ant.
Kobina Ansah is a Ghanaian playwright and chief scribe of Scribe Communications (www.scribecommltd.com), an Accra-based writing company. The launch of his son’s animation book, Animuonyam The Bully Stopper, is scheduled for Saturday, September 17, 2022 at the British Council at 4 p.m.